“I know,” Goku replied, “but I felt obligated to say something. I can tell that this is bothering you. I wish there was something I could do to help.”
“There’s nothing you can do, Kakarott.” Vegeta moaned, “It’s over with. My son is safe, but the burden of knowing his mother once tried to kill him will always be with me. I’m yet to decide if I will even tell him.”
“There’s no reason to keep a secret like that, Vegeta. Kids have a right to know. I mean, he’ll probably want to know who his mother was.” Goku advised.
“Indeed.” Vegeta replied, thinking Goku was probably right.
“It’s not good to keep dark secrets like that.”
“I suppose you’re right. May I finish now?”
“So I flew towards the city with the woman’s father…”
Return to flashback…
“V-Vegeta, wh-what are you d-doing? I-I’m afraid of heights!” Yelped Dr. Briefs, arms and legs waving around frantically for something to grab a hold of.
“The sooner I find the Satan City Women’s Health Center, the sooner you’ll be on the ground. Now tell me where it is!” Demanded Vegeta with ruthless determination.
“Well, Mainstreet is in that direction.” Replied Dr. Briefs nervously, pointing towards a couple of rows of particularly tall buildings.
“Wahhh!!” Shrieked the doctor as Vegeta zoomed off in that direction at light speed. “Hey, slow down! I think I’m gonna be sick!” Begged the flailing genius.
Vegeta was hovering just above Mainstreet and was noticed by more than a few pedestrians, who pointed up at him. “Here we are, now where do we go?” Asked Vegeta.
“You n-need to find 10th avenue.” Repplied Dr. Briefs, trembling.
Vegeta lowered himself down so he could see the signs indicating the streets crossing Mainstreet. “That’s 5th. But where is 10th?” Vegeta groaned.
“They’re in numerical order.” Explained the doctor, “See that next one is 4th, so you have to go north to find 10th.”
“Which way is north?” Urged Vegeta.
“That way.” He pointed in said direction.
Vegeta flew past several avenues until he came to 10th.
“There it is.” Dr. Briefs pointed to a large sign, indicating that the building behind it was the place Vegeta was looking for: the Satan City Women’s Health Center.
Vegeta dove down in a hurry and dropped the nauseated doctor on the grass lawn right outside of the clinic, sprinting through the doors at top speed. He immediately went to the front desk and demanded to know where Bulma Briefs was.
“She’s seeing the doctor right now, sir. You’ll have to wait.”
Instead of complying with the nurse on duty, he snatched her clipboard and discovered that Bulma was in room 406.
“Hey, you’re not allowed to see that!” the nurse snatched it back, but Vegeta just ignored her and sped through the door, down the hall, to said room, where he broke down the door with an enraged roar, causing Bulma and the old abortion doctor to shriek in shock.
“VEGETA?? What in Kami’s name are you doing here??!” She shouted, covering herself up. She was lying down in a white gown with her feet in stirrups, legs spread.
“What am I doing here?! What in Kami’s name do you think YOU’RE doing here??!” Vegeta demanded, growling at the gray-haired doctor.
He pointed menacingly at the doctor, “If you killed my brat, I swear to Kami I will tear you limb from limb, old man!”
“Sir,” replied the doctor, nervously standing his ground, “You are trespassing and invading a private doctor’s appointment. If you don’t leave I’ll have to call security.”
Vegeta ran over to Bulma and put a hand on her stomach, which she tried to slap away, unsuccessfully, of course. He breathed a sigh of relief after sensing the minute Ki within her womb. His son was thankfully still alive.
“What are you here for, woman?” Vegeta demanded angrily after backing away.
“That’s none of your damn business, you jerk!” Bulma spat back, fist raised.
“I swear, woman, if you don’t tell me why you’re here NOW, then I’ll…”
“I’M HERE BECAUSE YOU GOT ME PREGNANT, YOU OAF!” She shrieked back, cutting him off.
“Of course you’re pregnant, woman!! What? Did you think a fucking CABBAGE would come out?” He rolled his eyes.
Vegeta slapped his forehead. “Foolish woman! When women have sex with men,” he explained as if to a two-year-old, “they get pregnant. Hasn’t anyone ever told you where brats come from? I thought you were educated.”
“Of course I know where babies come from, Vegeta. I’m not stupid!” She shot back. “But I was on birth control and it failed,” she explained, then added angrily, “Thanks to a certain high and mighty royal PAIN IN THE ASS for refusing to use a condom, ASSHOLE!!”
“What are you talking about?” Vegeta looked confused, “I thought you said those little rubber pouches were for increasing sexual pleasure?” Vegeta didn’t like it, but he had apparently been lied to about the purpose of condoms, and he was not happy about that. So the woman had been trying to trick him to avoid bearing his child. ‘No wonder she tried to kill him…’ He thought to himself angrily.
“No, IDIOT, they are supposed to prevent pregnancy and disease transmission.” She divulged in rage.
“What the fuck??!” Vegeta hissed. ‘So not only does she despise the thought of bearing my brats, but she also thinks I’m diseased! Stupid bitch!’ Vegeta ground his teeth, seething in rage.
“Vegeta, this is no time for an argument, you jerk. Can’t you see we were in the middle of something?!” Bulma replied, trying to calm herself down and praying he would just comply and go.
“In the middle of slaughtering my brat, you mean!” He hissed in reply.
“What the-? Wait a minute, Vegeta…You better tell me you weren’t TRYING to get me pregnant!” Her eyebrows became all the more furrowed with that realization.
The doctor backed into a corner, fearing another major fight was about to erupt.
“What are you talking about?” Vegeta asked, confused.
“Were you having sex with me for the sole purpose of impregnating me??!” She spat, growing even more pissed with each passing moment.
“No, stupid woman, I have sex for pleasure too. Not just to make brats. And so does everyone, wench! What kind of stupid ass question is that?” He spat back.
“Damnit, Vegeta, you’re such an asshole!” She screeched, fiery-eyed.
“You’re coming with me, woman.” He snatched her by the wrist, much to her discontentment.
“Vegeta, you ass, I’m not even dressed!” She shouted in a shrill voice.
Vegeta snatched her clothes, which were neatly folded on one of the chairs, and threw them at her.
“Then hurry up and put your stupid clothes on, whore! We’re going home.” He instructed.
“Not with you in the room, asshole!” She shot back.
“After this,” Vegeta replied, locking eyes with her, “there’s no way I’ll be leaving you alone with my brat from now until he’s born. Besides, you don’t have anything I haven’t seen before. Now get dressed!” Vegeta ordered.
“He? How the hell would you know if it’s a he or not?” She asked, partly with anger and partly with confusion.
“Because I do, woman. I can sense it. The energy level would be slightly lower if it was a she-brat.” He explained, hissing at her.
Bulma glared at him skeptically, then said, “If you want a baby so bad then carry it yourself and fuck up your own dainty figure, asshole!”
“I don’t have a womb, dumbass! Will you stop saying stupid…”
“Exactly, you don’t have a uterus,” she interrupted, “So you’re not the one who gets to decide when OTHER people have babies or not. It’s none of your damn business!” She finished in an authoritative manner.
“I’m not deciding anything. It’s too late for you to not have a brat. You already have a brat inside of you and now that you have him, you can’t just kill him and say nothing ever happened.” Vegeta alleged.
“Oh, really?” Bulma spat sarcastically, “Well, LOOKY who’s deciding to lecture about the morality of killing.” She shot back.
“At least I’ve never killed one of my own family members. You’re attempting to destroy your very own FLESH AND BLOOD.”
“This is such bullshit, Vegeta! It’s not even a child yet, you idiot. All it is is a growing lump of tissue…a lump of tissue that I DO NOT intend to carry to term, so Kami help me. And especially not out of wedlock. Everyone will think I’m a prostitute. I have a reputation to worry about, you know.” She claimed stubbornly.
“Better a prostitute than a child murderer.” Vegeta halted, then fiercely snatched her by the neck and lifted her up off the ground. “Listen to me, woman,” he hissed in warning, “Listen loud and clear. If ANY harm comes to my brat before he is born I will hold you personally responsible. If you kill him, I will tear you limb from limb, so Kami help me, I will. Do you doubt my words, woman?” She shook her head in desperation and fear, unable to speak. “Good.” He spat, placing her back down on her feet.
She gasped and coughed for air and put both hands to her throat as soon as he released his hold on her.
He turned to the doctor, seething. “Get. Out.” He spat, uncompromisingly.
The doctor immediately nodded and, complying with the order, rushed out of the room.
Then he turned to Bulma. “As for you, get dressed NOW.” He ordered.
She glared at him for a while, only receiving a vicious glare back, and finally complied. Bulma Briefs wasn’t normally one to take orders, but with the death glare Vegeta had given her while practically throttling her air way, she knew that what he’d said was not optional. She didn’t like the feeling of fear it gave her. She hadn’t felt that way towards Vegeta since Namek, and that was a long time ago. Since then, she’d grown very accustomed to him and was one of the only earthlings that didn’t show any fear whatsoever towards the arrogant Prince of the Saiyans.
‘Well, I guess I’m having a baby,’ she thought to herself reluctantly as she pulled her blue jeans up her thighs. ‘I wonder what I should name him, now that I know it’s gonna be a boy, thanks to that stocky dork.’
“Hurry up, woman,” he spat, leaning against the wall with his arms folded and looking cross, “My patience wears thin.”
Back to the present…
“I haven’t slept with her since I found out about that.” Vegeta confided to the other Saiyan, “It shocked me so much that she would attempt something like that that I could hardly look her in the face anymore.”
Goku didn’t have anything to say. He just looked down at the floor and put his hands in his pockets.
“And, as if she hadn’t already pissed me off enough, she goes ahead and NAMES the brat, like she has any right after what she tried to do, AND she orders his tail removed as soon as she sees it on the ultrasound. The doctor suggested that it was some kind of ‘abnormality’ that should be removed shortly after birth. But she knew perfectly well that it was no ‘abnormality.’ She just wanted him completely de-Saiyan-ized like you. As if he has no rights whatsoever to his own proud heritage.” Vegeta lamented.
“You don’t think there’s…um…any chance that you might forgive her, do you?” Goku asked sheepishly.
“NONE WHATSOEVER. I already was NOT a very forgiving individual, but after this… After that weak, pathetic, human female defied me in such a…no, make that BETRAYED. She betrayed me. She is a treacherous, lying, scumbag. Lower than the lowest, slimiest bag of sludge to ever infest the swampiest planet in the entire universe…” he hissed.
“So….then…who’s going to be your…um…queen?” Goku spoke up, hoping to change the subject of the conversation away from the hostility Vegeta was showing towards Goku’s longtime friend.
Vegeta looked up, pleased to change to a more pleasant subject. “One of King Crystalis’ daughters most likely. He has more than one available. Princess Sapphire, for example, just returned from a long trip, and I hope to see her in the morning. I knew her a long time ago. We were friends. I don’t know if being mates would be too awkward for us or not, considering our past friendship. The problem is, I don’t know if she can bear me offspring as strong as a human female could. But I suppose I will just have to find out.”
“What are the chances you might choose her to be your queen?” Goku asked with a tinge of concern.
“I don’t know. Surely I will have some idea in the morning, though. She has plenty of suitors to choose from, being the King’s oldest daughter. But she’ll probably find my proposal to be the most attractive.” Vegeta said with a sly grin, complimenting himself.
Goku didn’t like the sound of that. At this point he could hardly imagine Vegeta married, his attention entirely taken up by someone else. He felt inclined to convince Vegeta against this idea. Unfortunately such an inclination also inclined him to forget about his original mission to get Bulma and the baby back together.
“Vegeta,” Goku spoke up, causing the other man to turn and look at him, “do you even really need a queen? I mean, aren’t you like one of the greatest warriors in the universe? I should think you’d be able to do just fine ruling a kingdom on your own.”
This caused Vegeta’s mouth to turn upwards into a crooked smirk. “Why, yes, Kakarott. I should think you would’ve been reluctant to acknowledge my keen ruling abilities. I must say I’m impressed.”
“No way, Vegeta. I’d say it’s obvious.” He exulted before quickly adding, “So you don’t really need a queen, then. Right?”
“It’s not about me ‘needing’ a queen. It’s just that it’s always good to have a reliable mate, and someone I trust to take care of the kingdom if I die before my son is ready. That’s usually the role of the queen.” Vegeta explained.
“Is that a problem? Or were you just handing me a compliment?” Asked the Prince.
“Is what a problem?”
“Me wanting a queen.”
“Oh…no. That’s not a problem…I just…” Goku hesitated.
“So,” Vegeta continued, “Then you were just trying to compliment me by saying I’d do fine ruling on my own?”
“Ah, well in that case, thank you.”
There was a long pause.
“When you were with Bulma, did you like it?” Goku asked curiously.
“What do you mean, did I like it?” Vegeta replied, unsure of where this was going.
“I mean, did she make you happy?”
“Um,” Vegeta hesitated awkwardly, “You mean…sexually?”
“That’s rather personal, Kakarott.”
“I know…it’s just that…”
“It’s just that…Chi Chi doesn’t make ME happy. I was just wondering if your experience with Bulma could compare… I don’t know, I guess I was just looking for sympathy. Never mind what I said.”
“I wasn’t miserable.” Vegeta admitted, ignoring Goku’s insecurity. “Your mate makes you miserable, doesn’t she?”
“Only when I’m around her.” Goku conceded. “Although I guess I’m pretty good at concealing it.”
“Right. Maybe you should begin looking for another mate, Kakarott.” Vegeta advised.
“I wish I could.” Goku admitted, “I doubt Gohan would be okay with that.”
“You don’t have to subject yourself to misery to please your brat, you know.”
“I know, but…”
“Did you have your eye on anyone? Pellucian women are crazy about Saiyan men, you know. They were all devastated when our planet was destroyed.” Vegeta hinted, suggestively.
“No, no, it’s not that. I don’t feel like I can confide in my friends.”
“About what? About the person you’re interested in?”
“R-right. Sort of.”
“Are you going to tell me?”
“It’s not Pellucian women.” Goku admitted.
“Someone on earth then?”
“Who? Are we talking about a specific person or a group of people?”
“Uh, both. I think.”
“Both? So you’re interested in both a specific person AND a group of people?”
“Um, yeah. And that group of people excludes Pellucians and earthlings.”
“Who else do you know?”
“Are you going to tell me or make me guess?” Asked Vegeta, agitated by his curiosity, but not wanting to sound desperate to know of Goku’s love interest, “I’m not in the mood for a guessing game, and if you want me to help you, you had better tell me NOW.”
Goku was silent, unsure of how to explain to Vegeta something he’d just realized himself—that he was attracted to the other male.
“You brought this up because you want my help right?” Vegeta continued, hoping the other man would divulge the information soon or drop the subject altogether.
“Then how can I help you?”
Goku went silent again, swallowing nervously and concentrating, cringing, as if about to do something unexpected, unexplainable emotions welling up in him, yet trying to hold them back.
“Kakarott?” Vegeta walked over to Goku, trying to get his attention.
No answer, just an admiring stare came from the taller Saiyan. Then suddenly Goku instinctively tackled Vegeta, pinning the other man to the cushioned velvet floor beneath them. Vegeta could feel Goku’s arousal pressing into his inner thigh. He had not suspected that the crush Goku had been referring to was him.
“WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE EARTH, VEGETA??! WHY?!!!” Goku shrieked angrily.
Vegeta gasped in shock as Goku began covering his face with kisses and his hands traveled down to the Prince’s rear. Vegeta let out a yelp of surprise as two large hands squeezed his buttocks unexpectedly. Vegeta’s face went bright red as he tried to push Goku’s hands away, only to have his hands forcefully pushed away from his own backside and replaced with Goku’s.
“GET OFF OF ME, KAKAROTT!” Cried Vegeta, as he struggled in vain to escape the larger man’s embrace.
“NO! MINE!” Goku hissed back, unrelenting. He promptly sat up and pulled the smaller Saiyan into his lap, wherein he continued to fondle him and nuzzle his neck, in spite of Vegeta’s protests.
“If you don’t get your disgusting, third-class paws off of my royal person THIS INSTANT, then I will have you thrown in the dungeon and flogged. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, KAKAROTT?!!”
Suddenly Goku stopped. “Flogged?” He replied, baffled, yet with a hint of amusement.
“That’s right, idiot.” Replied Vegeta, seething.
“That’s such a weird threat, Vegeta.”
“It’s not a threat, idiot. It’s a promise…if you don’t release me AT ONCE.” Demanded the displeased man reluctantly seated in Goku’s lap.
Goku let go of Vegeta, who promptly stood up, gathered himself, and then glared down at the other man sitting cross-legged on the floor. “Now WHAT IN THE HELL was that all about?!!” Vegeta demanded to know.
Goku twiddled his thumbs nervously, not meeting the other man’s eye.
“Hello?! Anyone home??” Asked Vegeta loudly, knocking on Goku’s skull, causing the seated Saiyan to flinch. “I asked you a question, assclown. NOW ANSWER IT!!”